Wednesday, June 30, 2010

It's all about fancy stuff today!

Today's Top News

You know there are woman that get cheated on everyday, some that live in trailers with some good for nothing loser that can't keep a job... they find out and kick the bum out and what do they get... to keep the rented trailer and the set of Arby's Christmas glasses, that's a combo that could make any woman bitter. But today I found out one woman could possibly find forgiveness a bit easier, Tiger's soon to be ex-wife is going to get a couple of houses and 750 million dollars!  I'd always heard of marrying well but wow-wee that lady divorced well.  If I were her I could so smile at his dumb arse every time I had to see him.  C'mon 750 million that's a whole lot of medicine for the ol' heartache.

*Yes guys I know women cheat too... I'm sure one day we'll get to that.

Today's Remember When

Someone asked on their status today, "What fashion trend did you follow which was very cool then but now looks ridiculous?"

Here are some of the great answers:

leg warmers
half shirts
parachute pants
muscle shirts
big hair
layered socks
bandannas tied around your leg

Today's Fan Page

Someone Will Buy It is all about goofy products that make it to market.  Here's her blog and here's her fanpage!


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Hot Crazed Sex Poodles

Today's Top News

Is it hot in here or is that just global warming? Silly me I thought the Gores broke up because the site of Al's naked arse grossed out Tipper but I was so wrongAfter reading all of this business I'm just sickened. Of course mainly because some "crazed sex poodle" thought he could just have his way with someone just because he thinks he's special.

And then there's the comment in the article about a liberal friend who told the woman, that Gore tried to bore, (you can take that one either way you'd like) that she couldn't tell on him because then the planet would suffer if Al didn't save it from global warming.  REALLY?  People like that vote folks!

Today's Best Status

You know it is a bad Tuesday when you think you Monday might have been better...

Today's Fanpage

It's ours!  There are now 51 members and I know there are more people like myself out there.  You don't have to take a test to vote, to reproduce, or join our page!  Now that's justice.

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Animals, All of Them!

Today's Top News

I found out today that Hayward from BP went to some yaught race thing and Obama went to play golf.  If you ask me they both should be shampooing a pelican or something.  That other dude might have said "small people" with words but Hayward and Obama scream it with their actions.

Today's Fun Photo

My son would be mad at me for posting this... he'd think it was insulting the hyena.

Today's Great Status

watching and laughing at the kids trying to catch the pigs...

Now that's country! Poor Wilber.

What did you learn on Facebook?

* I'll be on vacation for a week so, I don't know if I'll be around here or not but I'll see you next week for sure!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Scary Stupid, Scary, & Just Stupid

Today's Top News

There's nothing funny about today's news. I got a serious WTH!?  moment after reading this:

A New England school district has approved a measure that will provide free condoms to elementary school students and direct teachers not to comply with parental wishes to the contrary.

Seriously?  I'm not old fashion by any means but since when did this become ok?  Do schools feel like they can do whatever they want because parents have become dependent on them?  I know I have issues with the schools my children go to but they don't even come close to the above.

The article went on to say:

School superintendent Beth Singer supported the instruction aspect of the rule – explaining that younger boys and girls might not be experienced in such adult matters.

We’re talking about younger kids,” she told the newspaper. “They have questions they need answered on how to use them, when to use them.”

Please tell me that I'm not the only one that thinks these people have no business around children!

If you want to read the whole article about this whole sick mess click here.

Today's Time Waster

I saw the above posted to a friend's status today.  It's from some game called FrontierVille.  Now in all honesty I can't say that I have any knowledge about the game so I don't know how my friend managed to scare away that bear but my best guess is that she invited him to be a friend on FarmerVille, Mafia Wars and Pet Land.

Today's  Crazy Person

I'm sure we all have one of these...

Friend's Status:  I'm just not happy.
Someone Comments:  Why not? What's wrong?
Friend Comments:  I don't want to talk about it.

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Southwest Airlines a Head Above The Rest

Today's Top News

Momma always said life was like a box on a plane you just never know what you're gonna find.

An unmarked box was found on a Southwest Airlines plane that contained human heads.  They gave a rough estimate that it was between 40 - 60 heads but we can't be sure since no body did a proper head count.  According to the news report the company shipping them didn't follow the correct procedures.  I imagine that the head of the company is going to be peeved and I bet heads are gonna roll!  Read more about it here.

Today's Top Deal

Taco Bell posted this today:  Print your coupon for a FREE Taco Bell Limeade Sparkler at Choice of Cherry or Classic Limeade. Get One Regular Size Drink. Limit One Per Person.

Since we were on the subject of flying, the idea popped into my head, that one of those little bottles of vodka like you get on the plane would go good in the above mentioned drink.

Today's Great Joke

You can only  imagine what a head trip it was seeing this joke posted the same day as the Southwest Airlines story.

How much does a brain cost?

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.'

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked,
'How much will a brain cost?'

The doctor quickly responded, '$5,000 for a male brain; $200 for a female brain.'

The moment turned awkward.

Some of the men actually had to'try' to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the women.

A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more than a female brain?'

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the female brains a lot lower because they've been used.'

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Mittens for Devils

Today's Top News

Would you believe me if I told you that people in hell are on the internet right now ordering coats, hats and mittens!?  That's the first visual that popped in my head after seeing and hearing Keith Olbermann and Chris "thrill up my leg" Matthews compare Obama to Jimmy Carter and said things like, "I don't sense executive command."

I was full well expecting Rod Serling to jump out at any moment to tell me that I was in the Twilight Zone.

While I'm sure the people in hell are excited I'm sure the freeze won't last long.

Today's This Takes The Cake

I saw this cake posted and while I admire the craftsmanship I do wonder who ordered it?

Today's Great Quote

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ Mark Twain

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

It's for The Children...

Today's Top News

I learned that Obama wants 50 billion, yup, that's all, just a mere little 50 billionIt's to close the gaps on some budgets here and there and as usual they are using that same old song and dance about how if we don't pony up we'll lose teachers and policemen.  Oh no!  We can't do that... please please congress give him the money!  How about this instead, that these idiots figure out another way to save some money!  I'm over here clippin' coupons and these fools have run up my personal liability as an American citizen for more than I owe on my house.

Now I'm thinking I need a drink!  Onward to better stuff. 

Today's Hot Product

Someone listed this great calendar today from the Houston Fire Fighters Children's Charity!  I could go on endlessly about this one.  Talk all about being hot, and hoses, and stuff but somehow I think most women won't need any prompting... After all, it's for the children.

Today's Temptation

Ok, you know your friends post something to their status and it's all you can do not to be a smart ass.  I remind myself constantly that I'm supposed to be a grown up and behave appropriately.  But I can share with you... :o)

Friend's Status - Had a dream about my wedding last night. ♥

To which I would have liked to reply... dream or nightmare?

Real World Update - Toshiba 1 - Orange Crush 0

If you follow my blog you know all about my laptop's run in with some Orange Crush.  My hubby took her apart to see what to salvage and cleaned some sticky off some connection, put her back together to see if she fired up and she did!!! Toshiba is alive and well!  I'm so thrilled!  :) 

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Puppy Love or Doggie Style?

Today's Top News

It seems that the NAACP thinks Hallmark has a racist card out there.  *raising an eyebrow* I had no idea that there were three K's at the end of HallmarKKK.  There are times when there should be true outrage and others when things are just outrageous.  The card says something about black holes and this offended some black women so Hallmark has pulled the card.  You can read all about it here.

Today's New Time Waster

One of my friend's posted about how she needed help for her seven year old, on some game, to unlock his pet.  She said it would take seven friends to help or that she feared he'd sneak her credit card to unlock the darn thing.  My first thought was that if one of my kids took a credit card without my permission they'd sooner want to live through Revelations than the wrath that would come from their mom!

Being the nice person I am though, I clicked it and found, Happy Pets.  It's some weird game where you get pets.  I had to feed them and scoop the litter box, now that was fun!  Then my pets grew and it was time to have some puppies!  Oh yeah, I get a screen asking me to give my pets some "love potion" and when I did a huge heart covered them up and some funky "love music" came on so my pets could get it on in private while I waited. 

I did a this screen capture. 

I'm surprised that the animal activists haven't gotten onto this game yet.  Is this responsible breading?  Didn't Bob Barker want us to spay and neuter our pets? 

Today's History Lesson

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" - President Ronald Reagan - 23 years ago today

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Tinfoil Hat Zone - How to Make One and Why

Today's Top News

Get out those tinfoil hats boys and girls.  Now I know some of my friends are a bit off and extra colorful but they aren't that far out so I was surprised to see this article posted about a national coup d'etat rumored for sometime in late summer or early fall.  You know the left use to say the same thing about W. 

But just in case you think this may happen, right after you stock up on the ammo, you can go here to learn how to construct your very own tinfoil hat.

To find out even more about tinfoil hats you can always visit the Urban Dictionary which is one of my favorite sites.

Today's Dose of Wisdom

I learned today that The Star Spangled Banner had more that the first part to it.  I'm amazed and embarrassed.  So, I call my mom and tell her and she says, "Ok, you didn't know that?" Well what does that tell her about her parenting.  What kind of American was she bringing me up to be anyways.  Just in case you are "out there" like me and didn't know it below are the lyrics and a video of some guy singing the other part, you know that part I didn't know.  He did a good job too!

O! say can you see by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Today's Great Status

Going to church doesn't make you a christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It's T&A Day! Did Palin Get Implants? Did Obama Figure Out Who's Ass to Kick?

Today's Top News

Facebook is a buzzing with rumors that Sarah Palin had a boob job. (o)(o)  I guess the rumor started on twitter and ended up here, there, and on Facebook of course. The rumor has been deflated though but if you care to read more  here is the story about Palin's ta-tas. 

I'm extra thankful today though since it seems the media is so observant that male politicians don't wear spandex shorts.

Today's Bit O' Trivia

The first time a toilet flush was heard on the movie screen was in the movie Psycho in 1960. 

Today's Cartoon

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Become one of my BFFs on FB!

It's Either The Late, Late Edition or The Early Edition

Today's Top News

Let's start with yesterday's top news.  It's not news from the big world out there, it's from my world.   My laptop is dead may it rest in peace!  Come to find out it had a bad reaction when one of my darling children gave it some orange soda.  Turns out it was allergic but while I'm pretty sure it was painful, it was a quick death.  It did have a donor card so that other laptops will be able to live longer.  While I know other laptops will benefit it will be hard to put pieces of my old friend on eBay and then box them up and send them out.  I know that is what it would have wanted though.

Below is a picture of the murderer.  It's just outrageous how he stands there all out front as the gang leader talking about crushing things... My heart has been crushed for sure, a dear part of my life taken from me.

*The name and picture of the accomplice will not be released due to him being a minor.

Today's Great Status

"thepenisinmymouth".. Did you read the pen is in my mouth?.. like hell you did ;)

Well I thought it was a good one!

Today's Dose of Wisdom

The purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.  **Please see Today's Top News!

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Become one of my FB BFFs.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Friend Me You Might Like It!

Today's Top News

Well it all seems pretty depressing... as my grandmother use to say it looks like we're going to hell in a hand basket. 

So, here is some good news! I have a new Facebook page and I want you to be my friend... yes that means I might quote you... but I'll never use your name.  I might make fun of you.... but again I'll never use your name! C'mon it'll be fun!  Here's my page just send me a friend request! 

Today's Best Status

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than liked for who I'm not."

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Sharing isn't always a good thing!

Today's Top News

The most interesing news today was about how the good old government wants to put it's hand in your pockets some more to save the "media".   They talk about making tax exemptions for the media outlets and then also taxing electronics to pay for this.  If the media in our country wasn't skewed enough, why would we want our government involved in it?  I can't even find anything funny about this... You can read more about it here.

On another note... Friday is National Donut Day!  Sounds like my kind of day for sure!

Today's Top Status

I'm not even going to quote it as I usually do. This one only qualifies for the top because I can't get it out of my head.  One of my friends is talking about having yellowing stinky toe nails.  What the hell?  Why would you share that?  WHY?

Today's Chain Status

This one is going around now... I liked it for sure!

Did you know?

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time
2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.
3. And discover #1 is a lie.
4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Global Warming Leads to Nudity

Today's Top News

As most of you have probably heard, Tipper and Al Gore are getting divorced after 40 years of marriage.  It does leave me wondering who will get the new place in California that is sure to be underwater within years with the Earth's temperature rising and all. With that said, one might think that global warming might have something to do with their breakup. I mean, you know, when it gets hotter, tempers get short.  Or maybe the heat caused Al to walk around in his underwear, or worse, in nothing at all, and Tipper became repulsed.  But nnnooo, that's not it at all. According to CBS News, it's George W. Bush's fault!   No, really, you can read all about it here.

And yes you are welcome for the Al Gore visual. :oP

Today's Interesting Status

"It’s called the 'grey fallacy.' One person says 'black,' another says 'white,' and people assume the truth is somewhere in the middle. But this is sloppy, lazy thinking. Just because someone takes a position that is diametrically opposed to the truth does not skew the truth in his direction. The truth is still the truth."

You can ponder on that one awhile!

Today's Fan Page

Because I'm such a caring mom I suggested this page to my children.  With over 150k fans I see that I'm not the only "mean mom" out there.   

i eat ramen noodles when my mom wont feed me

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Real Life Zombie Stuff, Plastic Guys, and Something to Think About

Today's Top News

Ok, I hope you aren't eating!  I found out today that there is contaminated cocaine floating around out there.  They are saying this stuff can cause a person's skin to rot!  Sounds like something right out of one of those sci-fi flicks huh! Just another reason to "just say no" kids.  You can read more about it here.

Today's Buzz (Lightyear)

Facebook is buzzing with the anticipation of Toy Story 3.  If you were a little girl that loved Barbies and had a Ken doll... you'll love this!

Today's Great Quote

Ignorance and prejudice are both two way streets. 



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