Today's Top News
ABC News is the first link I had to the story. It's amazing we got him before the Grim Reaper did. Rumors abound that he has been dead for a week.
There are reports that people are outside the White House cheering, "USA, USA, USA!"
We've also learned via Facebook, that Donald Trump won't believe it until he sees the death certificate.
Today's Top Funny Status
I bet Bin Laden regrets allowing his iPhone app to track his current location
Today's Top Joke
A Bin Laden joke already, wow peeps on Facebook are fast.
When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the pearly gates
by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and
yelled: "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and
...shouted: "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said:
"This is why I allowed our government to provide for the
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane
and snarled: "It was evil men like you who inspired me to
write the Declaration of Independence."
The beatings and thrashing continued as George Mason,
James Monroe and 64 other early Americans unleashed
their anger on the terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an angel appeared.
Bin Laden wept and said: "This is not what you promised me."
The angel replied: "I told you there would be 70 Virginians waiting for
you in Heaven. What did you think I said?
What did you learn on Facebook today? Any good Bin Laden jokes? Do share by leaving them in the comments section!
ETA: Another Bin Laden Joke
Hell is... 72 virgins and not one Viagra.