The Hallmark Sweater Ornament Thing Controversy

Today's Top News

I learned today that Hallmark is in trouble because they changed the word gay to fun.  *insert my rolling eyes here*  I'm sure they did it so they didn't offend anyone and that worked out for them didn't it!? 

I don't know about you but I think we are getting overdosed on the politically correct thing.  Pretty soon people are just going to be afraid to talk.  I don't think we should be mean spirited or downright hateful but this whole being "sensitive" you hurt my feelings thing so a group is going to bully a company just doesn't work either!  It's just so gay! :P  How's that for politically incorrect?  And how is this... that Hallmark ornament sweater thing looks GAH-AYE!  So if Hallmark would have put "gay" on it they would have taken crap for that for sure!

So put your *gay pants and deal with it!

*Synonyms for gay via dictionary.com - cheerful, gleeful, happy, glad, cheery, lighthearted, joyous, joyful, jovial; sunny, lively, vivacious, sparkling; chipper, playful, jaunty, sprightly, blithe.

I'm just curious but, when did the first definition of gay become homosexual?  I don't recall growing up with that as the first meaning in my dictionary.

My final thought on this subject:  We have all the anti-bullying campaigns...but where are the kids learning to bully?  It's not just a bully or two anymore it's whole groups of kids ganging up on a few. Just a strange coincidence?  Tell me your thoughts and keep it nice no bullies allowed!

Today's Funny Cartoon

 Today's Top Joke

A scientist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog jumped across the room.

The scientist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, "Frog with four legs - jumped eight feet."

Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.

After measuring the distance, the scientist noted in his journal, "Frog with two legs - jumped three feet."

Next, the scientist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog just lay there.

"Jump, frog, jump!" the scientist repeated.

Nothing.

The scientist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs - lost its hearing."

What did you learn on Facebook?
 

Canned, Frozen or Fresh

Today's Top News

Wow wee!  You know it's a big thing if Hallmark makes a card for it and now...  TA DAAAAA!  They have a "Sorry you lost your job" line of cards!  We're talking 14 million plus Americans out of a job... That's not a bad sized market, you know a couple of friends each buying a card for dear laid off/fired person.  Heck, if things keep going like the do, I'm investing my money in Hallmark!

If you'd like to read more about it click here!

Today's Great Joke

2 women in heaven 1st woman: Hi! My name is Debi. 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Connie. How'd you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early... to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. 1st woman: So, what happened? 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. 1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.......

Today's Top Picture

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Special Edition: State of The U.S. Economy

Found this one, this morning on Facebook and had to share!

The recession has hit everybody really hard...

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally....

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, all the wars, no jobs for 1/10th of the nation, my savings, Social Security, my 401K AND retirement funds, etc.;

I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

What did you learn on Facebook today?

The Marriage Terminator!

Today's Top News

Oh Arnold!

Today I learned how Arnold Schwarzenegger terminated his marriage with Maria Shriver.  It seems that The Gov had some love with a household staff member and I'm assuming it was a woman because they had a child.  If you want to read more about the whole sorted affair, click here!


Today's Top Status

Turn off the drama and live the dream.  This seemed like some great advice but if people really took it I wouldn't have anything to blog about now would I. :)

Today's Top Joke

It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had a really bad day on the day they died.

St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from." St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!" St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Osama, Obama and Food Pictures - Which One Doesn't Belong?

Today's Top News

Osama Bin Laden was spotted today having lunch with Elvis. Ok not really but sadly unlike last night there weren't anymore good Bin Laden jokes today.  It does appear though now the conspiracy theories are abound.  There are some pretty convincing ones on Facebook but the best one was from a hardcore Republican talking about how they are just trying to prop up Obama's image.  While he is twisted up at the moment Obama is going to have to do better than that.  Because nobody is going to give an Osama's behind when they have to fill up their car on Friday.

For the best "real" conspiracy theories check out InfoWars. 

Today's Chain Status

REPOSTED!!!!~ Let's be clear on this: OBAMA did NOT kill Bin Laden. An American soldier, who Obama just a few weeks ago was debating on whether or not to PAY, did. Obama just happened to be the one in office when our soldiers finally found OBL and took him out. This is NOT an Obama victory, but an AMERICAN victory!! PLZ REPOST IF YOU AGREE!!!.

Today's Picture

I don't know about your friends but a lot of mine (that don't even know each other!) like to take pictures of their food and upload it to their page.  I don't get this.  Why? Are you proving you have food, are you trying to make people jealous? Are you thankful? What is this about!? I'm even friends with one guy that uploads a pic of the dinner table, set with food and all, most nights and then lists the menu of the evening.

What is this trend? Please someone explain this to me!!

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Osama Bin Laden Dead!

Today's Top News

The news of Osama Bin Laden's death is blazin' across Facebook at record speed!  ABC News is the first link I had to the story. It's amazing we got him before the Grim Reaper did.  Rumors abound that he has been dead for a week. 

There are reports that people are outside the White House cheering, "USA, USA, USA!"

We've also learned via Facebook, that Donald Trump won't believe it until he sees the death certificate.

Today's Top Funny Status

I bet Bin Laden regrets allowing his iPhone app to track his current location

Today's Top Joke

A Bin Laden joke already, wow peeps on Facebook are fast.

When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the pearly gates
by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and
yelled: "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and
...shouted: "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said:
"This is why I allowed our government to provide for the
common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane
and snarled: "It was evil men like you who inspired me to
write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashing continued as George Mason,
James Monroe and 64 other early Americans unleashed
their anger on the terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an angel appeared.
Bin Laden wept and said: "This is not what you promised me."

The angel replied: "I told you there would be 70 Virginians waiting for
you in Heaven. What did you think I said?

What did you learn on Facebook today?  Any good Bin Laden jokes? Do share by leaving them in the comments section!

ETA: Another Bin Laden Joke

Hell is... 72 virgins and not one Viagra.

The Crazy Plane and WINNING of Course

Today's Top News

VIRGIN Blue has sacked a male flight attendant and offered an angry mother free flights after her toddler was put in an overhead locker.

Wow, what a headline! I had to click it cause I'm thinking MAN! what a story and I've got this little movie playing in my head like - did the toddler cry and cry on the trip and the flight attendant go all crazy and come grab the kid throw him into the compartment, maybe even stuff some pillows and blankets in there to muffle the shrill cries of the toddler and then go start downing those mini bottles of booze on the beverage cart while he goes off on a rant and tells the kids mother to shut up cause he doesn't want to hear anything out of her either!?

Nope, sorry but that is not at all what happened. My version is better but if you want to read the real story you can do so here.


Today's Inspiring Status

A Successful Woman Takes The Bricks That The Devil Throws At Her And Builds A Firm Foundation..Just Saying!

Had to share this! Living well is always your best revenge! 

Today's Great Video

With ol' Charlie making the rounds you know the jokes were coming!  The thing I like about Facebook is just because you don't watch a show you still hear about stuff and get to see it.  Here's a great video from Jimmy Fallon's show.

Anything is Possible!

Today's Top News

Leaping leprechauns! I learned today the police in Boulder, CO had been called out after several people witnessed a leprechaun leaping between cars and acting as if he was shooting people with his fingers. The police failed to find the fairy tale creature and reported that this is the first time they have ever had a call about a leprechaun.

Isn't Boulder one of those places where pot is legal???


Today's Great Joke


A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

“Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says.

A little girl raises her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl.

'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'Fuck Off!,' the Rottweiler ate her!

The teacher had to leave the room.

Today's Video

I too like to stand on the bathroom counter and give myself a pep talk...



What did you learn on Facebook today?

Southwest Airlines a Head Above The Rest

Today's Top News

Momma always said life was like a box on a plane you just never know what you're gonna find.

An unmarked box was found on a Southwest Airlines plane that contained human heads.  They gave a rough estimate that it was between 40 - 60 heads but we can't be sure since no body did a proper head count.  According to the news report the company shipping them didn't follow the correct procedures.  I imagine that the head of the company is going to be peeved and I bet heads are gonna roll!  Read more about it here.

Today's Top Deal


Taco Bell posted this today:  Print your coupon for a FREE Taco Bell Limeade Sparkler at http://www.tacobell.com/promo/limeade-coupon Choice of Cherry or Classic Limeade. Get One Regular Size Drink. Limit One Per Person.

Since we were on the subject of flying, the idea popped into my head, that one of those little bottles of vodka like you get on the plane would go good in the above mentioned drink.

Today's Great Joke

You can only  imagine what a head trip it was seeing this joke posted the same day as the Southwest Airlines story.

How much does a brain cost?

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.'

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked,
'How much will a brain cost?'

The doctor quickly responded, '$5,000 for a male brain; $200 for a female brain.'

The moment turned awkward.

Some of the men actually had to'try' to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the women.

A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more than a female brain?'

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the female brains a lot lower because they've been used.'
 
What did you learn on Facebook today?

Zoos, Farms, and Animal Crap

Today's Top News

I guess it was a beautiful day in most parts of the good ol' U.S.A. because many of my friends were either barbecuing or going to the zoo. There was also real news but it sucks and since it's such a beautiful day I chose not to talk about it.  :o) 

Today's Cause

There are great causes all over Facebook for things like breast cancer awareness, support our troops but once again Farmville strikes again.  There is actually a cause so that they will add sending fuel as a gift.  569k members have signed up for this cause! http://apps.facebook.com/causes/379516/113537798?m=d512705f&t=1265742312

Today's Joke

Obama, speaking at a 6th grade class asked ,What Changes Should I Make To America,1st question, A horse, cow,and deer all eat grass. Yet a deer craps little pellets,a cow a flat patty,a horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that? Obama, surprised thinks a second and finally says,Hmm, I have no idea!and the kid says -Do... you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know sh*t!

Feelin' The Love

Today's Top News

The Obama Administration will be honoring the 43rd President of the United States by naming the gap between the tectonic plates beneath Haiti after him. The area will now officially be referred to as "Bush's Fault".

Ok, so it's not a real news story but all the ones that were posted today weren't really worth repeating.  More snow yadda, yadda... more campaign news, yawn... so, you see the news I posted while not true seemed much more interesting. :o)

Today's Best Status

Sometimes you just have to love your friend's twisted thoughts...

Finally got it figured out! We've come up with a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at airports. Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you. It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be no nonsense about racial profiling!!!!!

Today's Chain Status

We talked about love being in the air for Valentines and now this is going around Facebook...

It's Valentine's Week on Facebook. Change your profile picture to a picture of you with your significant other and tell us how long you've been together.

Just another way this time of year to make your lonely single friends feel like crap to see all the couples all smiling in their pictures.  Yup, yup!

*Disclaimer - The couple in the picture is not one of my actual friends on Facebook but rather just some random couple like the ones that you get in a frame when you buy it at the store.  

What did you learn on Facebook today?

Granny you're what???

Today's News

"I look at the numbers and I`m worried. I`m worried about this government committing itself to so many entitlement programs and committing itself to such a level of taxation that support those entitlement programs." - Chris Matthews

Could this mean that one of Obama's biggest cheerleaders in the media is about to turn on him?

Read the whole story here.

Today's Joke

This has to be one of the lamest jokes I've heard in a long, long time.

Ya know when my granny was 76 she told me she was bi-sexual--and of course I said WHAT--she goes well I must be bisexual I have said bye to sex.

Today's Fan Page

I survive Alaska winters so don't f**k with me.

It seemed like a boring day in my Facebook world. I sure hope you learned more today on Facebook than I did!